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April Fools by thermisto is a story that was archived from Sticky-Site.


Since they were girls, Kim and Beth, housemates, had maintained an annual April Fool's Day competition with increasing seriousness. As both women grew older however, now in their late twenties, they could not allot as much time to their juvenile pranks as they could before. It wasn't until late March that Beth's quick, easy, and economical prank occurred to her.

"Glue works wonders for pranks," she thought to herself suddenly lying in bed one night. The next morning she was on the computer looking up various glues- their strengths, costs, and safety qualities. Then she found it- DryGlue- apparently an ultra-strength long-setting bonding adhesive that was both non-toxic and had a dry texture- ideal for construction without the mess.

"Oh this'll be great," Beth thought as she ordered a bottle. It was pricey and she didn't know what exactly she was going to use it for, but just about anything would make a great prank. Beth looked up the remover, as all pranks must come to an end, and learned that because of the chemicals involved, the remover could only purchased with the serial number of the DryGlue product, as the remover was a powerful yet non-detectable inhalant which had been reported in many serious huffing cases in the past few years.

"Fair enough," Beth concluded. She ordered the glue and when it came several days later, used the serial number to order the remover. When the remover came, she transferred both the glue and remover to bottles of perfume she hated; she put the glue some green bottle with French on it and the remover to a square-ish blue bottle with a silver cap. She tucked them both back in her medicine cabinet and threw away all evidence of her purchase. "Now if I could just think what to use it on..."

Unfortunately for Kim, she had had no epiphanies as to what would make a great April Fool's prank this year, and unlike her previous self, decided just to wing it. It was a dangerous move, but her job demanded too much of her these days for her to devote time to something like this. She decided she would do something the day before April 1st, before beth got back from work, but hadn't figured it out yet.

That day rolled up fast, and when Kim returned from work she thought hard. Deciding to wander the appartment for inspiration, she eventually found herself in Beth's room. The bedroom gave her nothing- she went into the bathroom. The only thing of interest in the bathroom was the medicine cabinet, so she swung it open to see what you could tamper with. Then it hit her.

"Beth is real self-consious about the way she smells- that would be perfect!" Kim took out all the bottles of perfume she could find- tall skinny containers, short blocky ones, even samples. There was one bottle that caught her eye- one she knew Beth hated. She remembered it from the previous year- she bought the French brand for Beth for her birthday- she wore it once and never again. It was expensive too! "Oh, I'll see to it she wears it again," Kim said with a smile. She took the bottle over to Beth's dresser and opened the top shelf. Bras.

"Perfect." With glee Kim sprayed the contents of the bottle over them, careful not to use a very noticible amount. Interestingly, the contents didn't smell.

"Does perfume expire?" she thought. Kim put the bottle back, unsatisfied. "I guess I'll need to do something else," she thought as she meditated over the collection of glass bottles. She picked them all up in her arms, a difficult taks considering the odd shapes, and took them over to the sink. One by one she emptied them down the drain- a few small clear bottles, a blue blocky one, and alot of others. Once done she refilled them all to their original volumes with vinegar and put them back in Beth's cabinet just in the way she found them. "I've done better, but not bad for short notice," she thought to herself and waited for Beth to return home. It was late and Kim was in the bathroom getting ready for bed; time for action.

Beth scurried into her bathroom and removed the green bottle from her medicine cabinet; she then ran into Kim's room and swung open the closet. She heard Kim was giving a presentation at work tomorrow, and had laid out her pressed black suit on her dresser. Thinking fast, Beth scanned the pairs of shoes and picked out the most likely pairs to be worn with that ensemble. Quickly she sprayed a generous amount of the liquid in the selected heels and ran out of the room. She put the green bottle back in her cabinet and hurried back to the living room. Kim never suspected a thing. "Perfect."

The following morning, however, not so perfect. Kim had apparently swapped out her favorite perfumes with vinegar, which called for a second shower. Surprisingly, that was it. A little light for Kim, but given her workload that was understandable. Then it occured to her. "All my bottles!?" Beth went to her medicine cabinet and retrieved that blue blocky bottle and took off the cap. Vinegar.

"Oh, shit," she thought. She went back into the living room and bumped into Kim as she turned a corner. She was already dressed in her suit, wearing one of the black pumps Beth had sprayed. Of all of them these had the highest heels.

"Whoops! Hey, someone took two showers this morning! April Fool's, Beth!"
"Kim, listen,"
"Yeah, yeah, thoughtless, I know, but you know I really don't have time to-"
"Where did you put what was in those bottles?"
"Look we'll chat later Beth, I'm already late,"
Beth watched Kim as she left the appartment and hoped she really liked the heels she had on.
"She may be wearing them for a while."
Kim returned from work late that night; it seemed that ever since she took that VP position she was working twice as much as before, which was now four times as much as Beth's substitute teaching job. A minute after Beth heard Kim come home she began to hear grunts, followed by her name being called. Beth went into the living room to see Kim on the couch, one heel over her leg, tugging.
"Beth... you wouldn't happen to know why I can't take my heels off, would you?"
"April Fools?" Beth answered.
"Right... well you got me good. But uh, it's been a real long day, and my feet are killing me..."
"Yeah... about that..."
"Did you use glue or something? They're really stuck!"
"Yeah I did... but the remover..."
"Remover? What about it?"
"I think you spilled it out."
"What? What are you talking about? I didn't see any remover!"
"That's because I hid it in one of my perfume bottles! You emptied them all out, didn't you?"
Kim looked at her heel.
"Damnit. Yeah, I did. Jesus just when you think you're getting someone... well can you get more?"
Beth put on her shoes and went out the front door.
"Hey, I'm talking to you, Beth! Can you get more?"
Beth ran to the curb at checked the trashcan- it had been picked up.
"Damn!" Beth ran back inside and went to her computer. Kim followed her into her room.
"What is this stuff Beth? How didn't I know you used it?"
Beth was already checking her internet history.
"It's an ultra-strength glue that goes on dry and bonds stuff together,"
She clicked her purchase but the screen read 'page cannot be displayed'.
"Shit. You need the remover. That's what the page said. It said you need the remover."
"Bull," Kim said as she gave her black pumps another few tugs. Nothing. She sighed and went into the kitchen to get a knife. Eventually she found that there really wasn't anway to manuever the knife without cutting herself- only the heel was cuttable but removing that would just make walking harder.
"God damnit," she said as she sat on the kitchen floor, thinking what to do.
"Wait," she thought.
"Beth, which bottle was the glue again?"
"The green one!" she yelled from her room.
Kim got up and went into Beth's medicine cabinet and removed the only green bottle she could remember, the one with the French on it.
"Oh shit," she said. "Beth? I think there may be another problem!"
Beth came into the room.
"What is it?"
"...This was the perfume I used to spray your clothes... I thought it was the perfume you hated-"
"Clothes? Which clothes?"
"Your bras," Kim said reluctantly.
"What?" Beth grabbed the green bottle.
"Oh Kim, this was the glue! This was the glue I used on your shoes! My bras?"

Kim nodded. Beth took off her shirt and ran into the bathroom. Beth reach around and grabbed the hasps and tried to separate them- no luck. She grabbed either side and pulled intending to rip them apart but the glue held them together. She cupped the bra in the front and pulled hard, but there was nothing. The bra pulled at her skin as much as she pulled at the bra- there was no give whatsoever

April fools

"God damnit, Kim!" Beth yelled, still in the bathroom. "I thought it was just perfume!" "Perfume that doesn't smell?" "I don't know! Damnit Beth, who cares? You glued my heels on!" "I know!" Beth came out of the bathroom, still trying to remove the bra from her chest. "Look, instead of getting pissed off at each other let's just figure out how to get out if this-" Kim was sitting on Beth's bed pulling at her heels, lacking sincerity. "Well it starts with you getting some more of that remover." "You need the glue's serial number for that! I threw that stuff out- I didn't think you'd find the remover and spill it all out!"

"There has to be another way... we can't just be stuck like this!" "It said no exceptions, Kim!" Beth yelled. "That's... ridiculous!" Kim yelled as she shot off the bed. She kicked her heels into the ground immaturely. "Which of my heels did you spray?

"All the black ones... and a few others-" "-If it even matters," Kim interrupted. "I'll probably end up wearing these forever." "No you won't. ...I guess I'll have to throw all my bras out." "Yeah, I guess you will."

Beth tried the number she found on DryGlue's website but their phone hours were off until Monday. "Jerks... we work Saturdays but they don't?" Beth put the phone down and set down on the floor next to Kim. "Well... April Fools, Kim." "...April Fools Beth."

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